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Dear Deanna!
I’m dating two different men. I know it sounds bad for me to be seeing two people but I get different things from each man. One guy makes me feel whole and complete while the other one makes me feel free and we have a lot of fun together. I care deeply for both men and would like to ask your advice on which one to select.
Anonymous
Wichita Falls, TX
Dear Anonymous:
I suggest you eliminate both men and take the time out to find yourself. You’re obviously lost and deeply rooted in a world of confusion, lack of responsibility, and disrespect. There’s nothing cute about deceiving these men so your best bet is to call it quits before you get caught. If you’re smart, you’ll act sooner instead of later and avoid being called a garden tool.
Dear Deanna!
I’m a young man and I’m saved. I love the Lord with all my heart but now I realize that the temptation of the flesh is making me weak. I was sexually active before my walk of faith and now I feel as if I’m going to slip into fornication again. How do I stay strong with this and not give in to this sinful pleasure?
Douglas
Omaha, NE
Dear Douglas:
The act of celibacy requires prayer and divine intervention from above. This is a worldly sin that can’t be conquered alone by man. Pray for steadfast guidance and determination to abstain from sex as you strive in faith to guard your temple until you have a wife. There will certainly be some rough days and long nights, but that’s always better than a permanent barbecue in the lake of fire.
Dear Deanna!
My wife tricked me by getting pregnant because she stopped using contraceptives. We had an agreement that we were not going to have any kids. I’m employed in a corporate position that would keep me from being an effective father. This has hurt me so bad and is so serious, that I’m thinking of getting a divorce. How do I deal with this betrayal?
Ron
On-Line Reader
Dear Ron:
First, you need some cheese to go with your whine because you sound like a big baby. If you were so serious about not having kids, then you would’ve had yourself fixed. There are two sides to this story and you and your wife are on different pages. Re-evaluate your life, career and relationship and hear your wife’s story on kids and her actions. This child is a blessing and you should accept it and keep it moving.
Dear Deanna!
I’m from a faith-based family and we don’t celebrate Halloween. My children are having a hard time understanding why I won’t buy them crazy costumes and I make them go to church on Halloween night. My husband thinks I should give in and let them celebrate with other children. I disagree and this is causing arguments between us. What should I do about this stupid holiday that’s wrecking my marriage?
Monique
Detroit, MI
Dear Monique:
Your husband is being just as foolish as other parents that waste money and dress their kids like, ghosts, goblins and devils. This is a celebration of the devil and the arguments between you and your husband is confirmation of the enemy causing problems. You’re doing the right thing by not giving in. It’s only one day and your husband will get over it and should save his money and go to church with you.
Dear Deanna!
I’ve been seeing a nice lady for a while but her spending habits bother me. She spends money in a reckless way and acts as if money grows on trees. I made the mistake of always paying and always being financially responsible. Her electricity was disconnected but she went and purchased new shoes after I paid her bill. This relationship can’t go any further until I address this but I don’t know how.
James C.
Birmingham, AL
Dear James:
I don’t want to burst your bubble but you may have an undercover gold digger on your hands. Dating requires financial responsibility and equal spending. Instead of trying to be an impressive big spender, you should’ve been wise and let the lady share some of the expenses along the way. You need to keep it real and let her know that she needs to get her money in check, express your feelings and keep it moving.
Dear Deanna!
My girlfriend slapped me so hard that she cut my lip and I started bleeding. It made me so mad that I slapped her. She called the police and accused me of beating her and I went to jail for three days. I broke up with her because she didn’t tell the police that I hit her for calling my mother out of her name. She wants to get back with me but I’m just not feeling it. What should I do?
Anonymous
San Bernardino, Ca
Dear Anonymous:
Mothers are on the second line of elevation after God but you should’ve walked away instead of reacting in a physical manner. However, any woman that will send a man to jail out of spite deserves to be alone. This woman told an ugly lie that will haunt you for a long time. You should enjoy your freedom and realize there are other fish in the sea. | |
Dear Deanna!
I’m saved in prison and have a question. Some of the inmates are telling me that because I’m not in a church that my faith doesn’t count and I’m wasting my time. I was raised in the church but as you can see from my location, I strayed away from the Bible. Is it true I can still be saved and Godly in prison?
Anonymous Inmate
Raleigh, NC Central Prison
Dear Anonymous:
As long as you accept the Lord as your Savior and believe He sent his Son to die for your sins, your soul is saved. You can be saved in a cardboard box, a closet or the middle of a desert. There are other elements such as faith, works, obedience and tithing that go along with this commitment to make you whole. Since you’re saved and sanctified in prison with free time, you should get busy and convert the nay sayers.
Dear Deanna!
My spouse and I separated because of discipline issues with his children. I spanked his daughter because she was jumping on the bed so much that the bed broke. I got tired of talking and pleading. I have my own children and would never hurt anyone’s child. My husband, his conniving ex-wife and the child are trying to say that I traumatized her but I disagree. I feel it’s all a game of manipulation and I’m not giving in to the nonsense.
Tina
Toledo, OH
Dear Tina:
You and your husband need to work out your issues and then deal with this problem together. There’s some resentment between you and the ex-wife and now it’s worse. Unless there are police reports and a doctor’s exam confirming abuse you don’t have much to worry about. This game will end soon and your husband will see what’s going on. However, before the kids return you need to discuss discipline, rules and behavior.
Dear Deanna!
I want to be free from a relationship that is holding me down. I married my husband because I thought he would stay motivated and we would do great things together. I’ve watched him go from a dynamic executive to a couch potato. All of the dreams and goals we had have gone down the drain and I still want the fantasy we dreamed of. Should I leave him and is there anything I can do to get my old husband back?
Unhappy Wife
Baltimore, MD
Dear Unhappy:
You married your husband for material comfort instead of eternal companionship. Have a discussion to see how you can support and motivate him. He can’t be the man you want but he can be the man you need. People, places and things change and you have too but your husband loves you enough to deal with it. You need to leave fantasyland and determine what’s making you unhappy, address it and keep it moving.
Dear Deanna!
My boyfriend gets mad when I disagree with him. He wants me to do everything he says. If I disobey he turns on me and claims my behavior is what causes him to act a certain way. He needs to understand that I have feelings for him. Do you think he cares for me because I feel as if I’m being used?
Confused
Anonymous On-Line Reader
Dear Confused:
You’ve allowed your boyfriend to brainwash you into thinking you’re a dog. No human being should be manipulated this way for the sake of having a relationship. It’s obvious he doesn’t respect you or care too much about you. At the end of the day, if you feel as if you’re being used, you probably are. The writing’s on the wall and I suggest you read it and get the hint loud and clear.
Dear Deanna!
I’m a 49-year-old man with a rather unusual problem. I simply enjoy watching women with beautiful feet. Is there any advice you could give me about this problem? I know there are other men out there with this problem. If you could share some advice about this, it would be extremely helpful. I have been like this since I was a young boy
Michael
Denver, CO
Dear Michael:
The fascination you speak of is a mild form of Pedal Paraphilia, which is a psychological obsession with feet, stockings, socks and shoes. Your infatuation with women’s feet, although sick, is harmless as long you don’t invade anyone’s privacy or personal space by getting physical. If this affects your personal life and ability to function, seek professional help immediately.
Dear Deanna!
I noticed that since high school my friend list has been reduced. I’m now 30 years old with no friends. I’ve put a lot of strain on my husband due to not having anyone but him. When he goes out with the guys, he looks at me and knows how much I want a friend. He’ll cancel his plans and we’ll do a girly thing like shop or see a movie. Other than work and church how can I make new friends?
Friendless
Anonymous On-Line Reader
Dear Friendless:
Get out of the house, join the gym, go the library and do something with yourself other than complain and stay under your husband. You can make new friends by talking to people while in line at a restaurant, talking to women at the hair salon, or joining a book club. You’ve outgrown your friends, which is common and now you can start a new circle of friends who do some of the same things you enjoy. Stop being scared and keep it moving.
Editor’s note: Ask Deanna! is written by Deanna M. Write Ask Deanna! at askdeanna1@yahoo.com, or 264 S. LaCienega Blvd. Suite 1283 Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Visit her web site at www.askdeanna.com. |
